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Penuel

by xioma

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lyrics

I lay alone in my bed the dark the same as every night before
Nothing came in
I thought I could win
I sat up like a real girl

I heard him out until I realized that I was a doubt
Nothing came in
I started to spin
I fought him like a real girl

We fought long and hard until I thought I had lost
I cried in shock as I realized the world spins for no reason at all
The god I loved a mystical fairytale in the land of the real

The dusk faded into the dark and Nothing pumped my heart with his hand
I had Nothing to live for
Nothing to die for
I had Nothing to live for
Nothing to die for
I swallowed my pride like a real girl

We fought long and hard until I thought I had lost
I cried in shock as I realized the world spins for no reason at all
The god I loved, a mystical fairytale in the land of the real

Nothing swallowed me whole
Nothingness swallowed me whole

Then Nothing left me at dawn changed my name, said I had won
I had empty hands, an empty heart
I saw the world for the first time

I limped out of the bed and felt my lips on the ground
The meaningless cause exudes the beauty of everything
The start of it all, a shimmering mystery--incarnate

credits

released November 29, 2016

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about

xioma Columbus, Ohio

i tell new pals i grew up in a bomb shelter when they are not understanding that i do not get their pop culture reference.

“but that show is REALLY FAMOUS.”
“bomb shelter.”
and then they get it. but the bomb shelter is a metaphor (?). in truth, i was raised in a fundie christian home.

i write music to process my shame/grief/rage/gratitude around it all.

ty for being here. <3
... more

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