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lyrics

humans in the kitchen making tea with milk
humans in my living room making jokes or not— I’m in love

humans in the bathroom snorting cocaine
everything is clearer when you’re not insane— what i’d give

normal hair, normal stare
normal this, normal that
don’t look here, there’s nothing there
just a normal normal norm
i sell a piece of my soul
they slip me their approval
i like what they like- do they like me?

you’re the cup of a coffee i hold in my hands
whisper to my body i’ll be warm again, my dear friend

you smell like the book i read when i was 10
reassuring me again, and again i don’t need

my dear friend, i’m home alone
can’t leave again, leave again, leave again
my own breath’s become a sin
can’t pretend
you knock three times, i know what that means
i knock back

with my crazy hair, anxious stare
racing thoughts, empty heart
thought i’d always run away
but you ran with me

credits

from When I turn 30 (I'll feel secure about everything), released September 20, 2019

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about

xioma Columbus, Ohio

i tell new pals i grew up in a bomb shelter when they are not understanding that i do not get their pop culture reference.

“but that show is REALLY FAMOUS.”
“bomb shelter.”
and then they get it. but the bomb shelter is a metaphor (?). in truth, i was raised in a fundie christian home.

i write music to process my shame/grief/rage/gratitude around it all.

ty for being here. <3
... more

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